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I wish I could tell you I still love you. But I don’t. And I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. But I can’t put myself through this anymore. I was so lost for so long. And you helped me find myself again. And I need to thank you for that. You made everything bright again. You gave me a reason to love again. I will always love you. But not like I used to. I will love you as a friend. As a friend of a friend. I will love the memory of who you once were. And maybe one day he will come back. And I’ll love him again. But although you gave me more joy than anyone in the world, you’re the only person who’s ever put me through this much pain. And you knew you were doing it. I realise now that you’ve always known how I felt. And you used that against me. So I can’t love you anymore. Because I need to let go and move on. I need to fall in love again. And I think I’m close again. I don’t want to be. And I don’t want to let you go. I never want to let you go. But I have to if I’m ever going to be able to love him. And I can’t hurt anyone like you’ve hurt me. I will never do that to a single living soul. Because any normal person would have killed themselves if they’d been put through all of this. And I was close. But I had to be strong. And I was. I was so strong and I proved that I didn’t need you. I proved that I could stand on my own two feet. And most importantly I proved to myself that loving you wasn’t a curse nor a blessing. It was simply a part of my life. A part that helped me grow. A part I will always treasure.
I love you. I will always love you. But I’m done. This is the end. I’ve said it time and time again, and I’ll probably keep saying it. Over and over. And maybe one day I’ll finally start to believe it.
I know what love is and I know what it isn’t. I know I loved you. And I know you loved me. But not like I needed. And maybe I didn’t love you like you needed. Because love isn’t pain. Love isn’t suffering. This isn’t love. I hope I’ve found it. But I won’t hold onto that hope. Because I won’t get hurt again. I won’t. There’s no way I’m going through that again. I needed you and you hurt me. And I won’t do that again.
So this is it. Good luck with your life. Your new girl. I love you. But please stay away. And stay away from him. My boy. If you even try to hurt him I’ll kill you. I know you’re jealous. I know that’s why you lost it that night. But you can’t do that again. Because he’s my best friend. And I’ve done a lot to protect him these past few months. More than you’ll ever know. More than he will ever know. More than anyone will ever know. He scares me. For a lot of reasons. But what scares me most is falling for him. Some days i feel like I am. Some days I don’t. And I don’t want to. I can’t destroy what we have. But I will say this; he’s made me happier than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m finally smiling again. I’m happy.
I’m ready. It’s time for me to let go. I love you. It’s time for our story to end. And mine to begin. This isn’t a story about you anymore. This is my story. And it’s time I started writing it.
This will never be over (via rhaenysheather)
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Šodien es vēlos tikai apskāvienu. Šī kustība ir tikpat sena kā cilvēce, un tā izsaka daudz vairāk nekā divu augumu saskarsme. Apskāviens it kā saka: Tavā klātbūtnē es jūtos droši, un man nav bail, es varu atslābināties un justies kā mājās, es esmu aizsargāts un saprasts.
Paulu Koelju Alefs (via tanotiek)

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My blog turned 1 today!!! :)
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My blog turned 1 today!!! :)

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